killtheanimals (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
killtheanimals) wrote2019-06-01 09:12 pm
killtheanimals) wrote2019-06-01 09:12 pm
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Site 1: Anniversary
[Word spreads among those who are still on Site 1: there are fireworks. Why? Because, that's why.
The fact that it's the anniversary of camp probably has nothing to do with it. Probably.
Anyway, if people do show up to the yard, there's indeed fireworks. Firecrackers, smoke bombs, fountain fireworks, sparklers, bang snaps, roman candles, and aerial repeaters.
The ground has also been dampened, thanks to a certain seawyrm. Do try not to cause any fires, everyone.]
The fact that it's the anniversary of camp probably has nothing to do with it. Probably.
Anyway, if people do show up to the yard, there's indeed fireworks. Firecrackers, smoke bombs, fountain fireworks, sparklers, bang snaps, roman candles, and aerial repeaters.
The ground has also been dampened, thanks to a certain seawyrm. Do try not to cause any fires, everyone.]
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[ Celebrating the anniversary of their death trap experience is a little odd, but at the same time... They're celebrating a year of being alive, despite the odds, despite everything. A year since meeting, too. Boa can't quite remember what it was like to not have these people in his life who mean absolutely everything to him.
That day one year ago, waking up in the camp cabin, he'd cared about nothing and nobody. What had he been living for? It's difficult to understand, looking back.
In a calmer moment, as they are sitting together as a small group, Boa actually has to bring up something sincere. ]
.... the weird part is, I miss it sometimes. The place, the... the people... I used to think the Snake Pit is what made me, but that's not really true anymore, huh?
b) the prompt where we ignore all that
[ Fireworks are nostalgic in their own way. That evening had been one of the best he'd ever had, so shortly before he was brutally executed by his fellow campers. He cherishes the memory even despite it.
Also, fireworks are really cool. Having a metal arm also means less chance of actually burning yourself, so Boa is going to go all out on being 12 and playing with things that go boom. He's grinning widely as the colorful explosions take off into the evening sky. ]
a
...I think I know what you mean. There was this weird kinda homey feel to it? Despite, uh, most of us dyin'.
[ scratching the side of her head ]
Or livin' with brain coral...
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[ It's nice that they can still be in touch, even with the dimension hopping. A year of being neighbors sure makes for some nice familiarity. ]
It's not like it's gotten any less weird since the brain corals or dying, really. Less dying on our part, but we're not out of the woods by any means. The campsite was just... oddly relaxing. While I was alive anyway.
A because one thread isn't enough
...I suppose not. In the end, that place changed all of our lives; the only ones who weren't affected are those who returned.
[And only because their souls were back where they should be, with no strange memories of other worlds.]
excellent choices
[ He's not sure if he's bitter, really. Or no-- he's bitter, definitely, he's just not sure what about. Lack of goodbyes, the leaving, everything before it...? Impossible to say. ]
A lot of them weren't suited for this agent life anyway. Makes perfect sense for them to run away from it.
Re: excellent choices
If they could barely handle camp, the Foundation would have definitely destroyed them.
[It's just too harsh, too unforgiving for that kind of softness. No one could keep that kind of mentality here for long, not unless they found some way to stay completely oblivious.]
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[ For a moment, Boa goes silent, staring down at the floor. There's a lot here that he hasn't talked about, simply because talking about permanent loss is hurtful. Even Red Eye and his world... he could get them back, if he wanted. The versions of people who left camp however? They'll never return. A fate worse than death for those iterations of them.
It's exactly why Boa hates the idea of going back home himself. ]
You know, Eddie dies at home, but as an adult. Richie's fine. They never manage to get together. ...their loss for not holding on to any of this, I guess.
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[For all that he'd tried to protect them at the time, that's... pretty starkly clear.]
They haven't lived lives where they'd accept that.
[He looks up in mild surprise at the last part, however.]
So you looked at their 'canon?'
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As much as looking at Wikipedia counts? Yeah. I figured that if I just looked and found out, I'd... stop wondering.
[ It didn't work all that well because of course the results just had to be depressing. Boa supposes it's his own fault for getting curious here. ]
That was almost a year ago, I haven't looked at it again since.
[ And he's never spoken about it before because he never knew how to feel. ]
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[Not terribly surprising though. Boa and those two were close.
His gaze slides away once again as he stares out at nothing in particular.]
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[ Mitsuru certainly knows how that goes. ]
I don't know if it's easier to think of them as having gone home or as being dead. I mean, they are dead. The versions of them that knew us aren't coming back.
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When people die, it's like... their time has frozen. Their last moment is all there is, and all there ever will be from then on.
[Obvious world-hopping and gigai instances aside.]
My father was a killer. My mother was a cheater. And my sister... she was innocent. And that's all they can ever be, now. [Unless they come through that machine by some miracle, their time would never resume, and they would never get to learn and change beyond that.] It really might be better to think of those two that way.
Those are the ones that were important to you, right?
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[ Boa lets himself sink against Mitsuru, not exactly cuddling, but definitely seeking comfort in physical presence.
Mitsuru had a lot of time to reason out death and loss. More than Boa, for sure. Being dead is different than experiencing loss, especially a loss that is permanent. Dying has not made Boa an expert in any of that. And in his past, he'd never had anything to begin with, thus nothing to lose.
He's glad to accept Mitsuru's expertise. ]
That's for the best, yeah... I also... I kept thinking about how, in the end, they'd never really accept any of us. You're right though. It won't happen either, now.
Guess I should just forgive them for it and move on.
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I'm not sure if we have any among us who haven't killed by now.
[Some SCPs call for neutralizing, after all.]
...That's probably what you're supposed to do, anyway.
[A strange thing for him to say, to even consider after pursuing his wish so relentlessly. Despite helping to set all of this up, it's still hard for him to believe.]
Letting go... isn't always easy.
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[ Is he mourning? Does he just want to set the record straight? That's questions he himself barely knows how to answer. ]
What the hell was all that 'we forgive you' the Monday after I died? Weren't they just making themselves feel better? It's not like anything about their attitude changed after. And if they hated me, fine, that's consistent, just... I didn't want their pity. And I didn't want to be tricked into taking it for more than it was.
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[The kind of dishonesty Mitsuru dislikes, really. He is what he is, and he doesn't want people bending that to fit their own ideas.]
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[ And that is maybe something he really needed to say out loud. During the time in camp, he'd played with the thought of going home with them. Becoming one of them for real. A loser, in the positive sense of it. But this world isn't a place for losers, just like his world hadn't been. Boa is all about winning and about power. And that's why he's still here, still alive. That's why Mitsuru is still here and still alive as well.
He can't discard that. Ever. ]
The kindness was misplaced. We're surviving because we are the way we are.
[ Not quite the same way he was when he came to this world, not as hopeless and not as loveless. But at his core... the same Boa Alcacer, always, forever. ]
Thanks. I feel better now.
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They really are too alike in that regard, huh? But... it's also nice. A lot of people here underestimate him because he's a child; it's something they both face and understand.]
Good. I'd be in a lot of trouble if you did.
[The longer they stay here, the shorter his patience for risking one's life in an effort to solve things peaceably. This is a world where that kind of softness can easily get one killed, and he can't afford that.]
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[ It's already difficult as is to keep track of the people he cares about. In the further sense that is everyone who had lived through the summer camp with them and with events like Shirou ending in another murdergame... It's hard. Focusing on only the people he loves most seems easier. The smaller the circle of those to protect, the less vulnerable.
Abandoning that thought is not a luxury they can afford. ]