Week 5 - Saturday, Mitsuru; Post-Trial

[killtheanimals]

[When Mitsuru finds him, it's in a tree away from the others, black sorcerer's robes wrapped around him to further conceal his presence. He's curled up in the branches, staff in his lap, Ragnaruk clutched tightly in his hand, shoulders shaking with the occasional silent sob.

He probably hasn't even noticed her, given the lack of reaction. To say he's doing poorly would be a huge, huge understatement.

In the end, he is, after all, only eleven- no. Twelve, now.]

Comments

[fallbymyhands]

[. . . it's all so unfair]

[Mitsuru strains to hear his words, and then bolts up to her feet when they process, eyes wide]

What. . .?

[her exclamation is surprisingly quiet and breathless]

Ashikawa. . .

[. . . and he's just a kid. a mature kid, just like Ken, but a kid nonetheless]

[killtheanimals]

[He doesn't have an answer for her, curling up even tighter with a broken sob, like maybe if he hides away from the world itself, maybe he won't have to face any of this anymore. Not the deaths of his family, not the death of Boa at the hands of someone he keeps so foolishly thinking to trust once more, not...

Any of this. Because for all he's endured, finally, finally, he's met his limit, crushed under the weight of responsibilities he can no longer bear.]

[fallbymyhands]

[there's very little Mitsuru can do from the ground, when Ashikawa is tucked up in the tree, but listen to his sobbing. it yanks at her heart, and she finds herself shutting her eyes tightly, leaning forward to rest her forehead against the tree trunk]

I am so sorry, Ashikawa.

[for bringing it up, when he's still mourning over Boa]

My wish for you. . . would be that that never happened, too.

cw: suicidal ideation

[killtheanimals]

[It takes him a bit to recover again. To pull himself together again, when the pieces are so rapidly falling apart.]

I--

[His voice is shaking.]

I have to get back. I have to...

[If he can't return to Vision, can't get his wish--

What was any of this even for? Why did he suffer through all of this?

Why didn't he just die, on that fateful day so many years ago?]

[fallbymyhands]

You will make it back.

[that, at least, is firm]

You, and Boa, and everyone else who has died.

[she steps away from the tree and tilts her head back to look up at him]

. . . it may not feel like it right now, but I won't allow for any other outcome.

[killtheanimals]

[There's another silence. He knows he needs to talk, there's still so much he needs to learn and know, but...

It's so, so hard. And he's so, so tired.]

How do you... How can we...?

[Is it really even possible? He has a hard time imagining it, at this point.

But he wants to. Because the alternative is just too horrific.]

[fallbymyhands]

[if he's tired, then Mitsuru will walk him through it. she doesn't have all of the answers, but she has logic, and she hopes that giving him something more concrete to hold onto will. . . help]

We have confirmation that the souls of our dearly departed friends are still there. That the rock spirit is holding onto them for unknown purposes.

All we must do. . . is convince the rock spirit to let them go. To return them to their original bodies. Those bodies may not be in perfect condition, but. . .

It's a beginning.

[killtheanimals]

[Quiet. And then, a dismissive sound, sad and disbelieving.]

They aren't even human anymore.

[None of them are, if you really think about it.]

[fallbymyhands]

. . . and what is it that makes them no longer human?

[to her, the state of their bodies doesn't matter. so long as they still maintain their humanity, then everything should be okay. right?]

[killtheanimals]

Their souls are no longer in control of their bodies. What we're speaking with more often than not is a parasite puppeting their corpses at best.