Sunday, Week 5 - Lenka; Post-Trial

[killtheanimals]

[Mitsuru's had some time to calm, though he's still sitting in his tree, his eyes are still red, his face still damp from earlier tears. He isn't sobbing at the least, which is a vast improvement, and the beyblade Boa gifted to him prior to the trial remains in hand, clenched tight between his fingers. His black robes are wrapped around him in spite of the heat, helping him to blend in with the dark of the trees, intended from the start as a symbol of mourning.

He didn't think they would be for mourning his best friend in this place.

Still. In spite of the dark thoughts filling his head, he's not completely oblivious to his surroundings. When he hears someone approaching, he jerks his head to see, heart rate picking up in a moment of fear - what if he's to die, too? - a spell on his lips, if unsaid.]

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[soylentprotag]

[It's relatively challenging to spot Mitsuru in the treetops, despite his more distinctive gear now, but Lenka's pretty good at spotting movement and things that don't want to be spotted -- and there have been quite a few people in trees this week, come to think of it, so when he sees a flash of something that turns out to be black robes he pauses before approaching.

It gives Mitsuru plenty of time to see him, head raised and alert because yeah, the paranoia and the things they've been seeing haven't gone away with death this time. And after yesterday none of them are going to be getting any kind of rest for a while, let alone be able to keep themselves in check.

He stops at the base of the tree, raising a hand to lean against it for the moment.]

Mitsuru. [there are both a lot of things to say and very little] ... You should eat something.

[He did bring some leftovers from the campfire. Those are their cabin supplies, after all. He'll have to replenish them soon.]

[killtheanimals]

[He knows Lenka's right. He's lost track of how long it's been since he climbed up here, and although he knows his mind's count is probably wrong (an eternity), he's still certain it must have been some time.

...He turns away.]

Not hungry.

[It's like all that fire to do anything at all just... burnt out, leaving an exhausted husk in its stead.]

[soylentprotag]

[Lenka hasn't lost track of time, not really.

He knows that Mitsuru vanished last night before the campfire, and he hadn't seen him again at all -- not until just now, anyway, and unless he'd snuck some food sometime during the night (doubtful), then he's barely eaten between yesterday and today. It's a terrible state for a growing boy, certainly, but particularly in this week, when they're all already being overtaxed.

Mitsuru himself especially.

So -- and he would have done this anyway, but now he's doing it more -- Lenka nods to himself, a quiet decision, and takes a quick leap up the tree to settle beside where Mitsuru is. He'll deposit the food he brought (some crackers, a little water and cheese and fruit preserved in an unadulterated fridge), along with a little extra since Shirou was still stress-cooking yesterday. Then he'll just sit there for a little while, letting the silence uncurl itself again, watching Mitsuru out of the corner of his eye. He should have brought something to wash with, perhaps. He is no longer carrying around dishcloths at all hours.]

[killtheanimals]

[He startles pretty visibly when Lenka leaps up to him, anger and fear flashing across his features.]

I don't need it.

[He's not convincing either of them, but that doesn't matter. Very little does, right now, least of all something as insignificant as snack food.

He probably has a nasty headache that isn't helping matters, thanks to dehydration.]

[soylentprotag]

You don't have to need it now. But keep it.

[Lenka keeps his tone even, unruffled by Mitsuru's recoiling reaction and the rejection -- he might want to be alone, or to brood for a while longer, but he can still do it practically with a little help. Mourning is a funny process, especially in a place like this, where they all know exactly who is or isn't responsible for each death, and the death smile slowly at them each day.

It's just Mitsuru's time to be truly afflicted with the things this camp destroys in them, the things Sol broke in a fit of rage, perhaps, this past week. So Lenka will stay here for now, making sure the food and water is in between them. There's some warmed up soup, you know.]

Mitsuru... [he could try, but no words and no apologies can make this okay, so:] This won't be the ending. None of us will accept that.

[killtheanimals]

I know that.

[His voice is so, so rough. It would be easier to speak with water, but he doesn't allow himself that.

A large part of it's about Boa. But it's also about Aya, about his mother, about his father's knife falling upon them the same way Ren's rock did upon Boa's temple. It's about all of the times he imagined the same happening to him, because he didn't leave to go play, because he stayed with his sister and it cost him his life instead, painful stab by stab.

He still wishes he could bring them back. But watching Boa was only a stark reminder that he can't do the same for everyone he comes across, everyone he cares about. First, it would be Aya, then his parents if he could. Boa ranked third and by then there was no saving him, because you only get one wish. He'd embarked on his Journey to gain control over his fate, and yet here he is, powerless, again and again, and--

It's not the ending. But without an ending in sight, the long road that stretches ahead brings with it a certain despair.]

[soylentprotag]

[He's not going to go further and force him to eat or drink; he trusts in Mitsuru's innate pragmatism to eventually realize he needs the minimum to keep himself going, and if it's broken for longer than expected Lenka can check in on him later. As long as he isn't falling out of trees, they're still golden, or at least bronzed.

He doesn't know the details of how Mitsuru deals with death, the death he's dealt with -- but he knows the effects, and the results here in how he's strode across the weeks that have rained down on them, lifting his feet effortlessly over the corpses until they stopped moving here. There come, always, the corpses you can no longer just step over. The faces you remember not just in dreams but the ones you carry with you no matter how far you go.

He doesn't know the details of Mitsuru and Boa's relationship, either. But he knows how often he sees them together, the way Mitsuru thanked him for Boa's life, something he hadn't thought anything of at the time. The way Boa's hackles went up in a split-second the second he even suspected anyone of looking at Mitsuru funny.

There's a hole opened here, that won't be patched.]

But you don't feel it.

[His voice is soft, thoughtful, as he settles himself in for the count.]

[killtheanimals]

We still have three more weeks of this.

[It's almost a growl, not helped by the state of his voice.]

...I've grown tired of this.

[He doesn't want to have to keep pushing on like this anymore. Three weeks, which should be a relatively short time, feels like it's stretching out into eternity.]