It... really isn't. I'm not sure if it's better or worse that I'm mad at them.

[ Is he mourning? Does he just want to set the record straight? That's questions he himself barely knows how to answer. ]

What the hell was all that 'we forgive you' the Monday after I died? Weren't they just making themselves feel better? It's not like anything about their attitude changed after. And if they hated me, fine, that's consistent, just... I didn't want their pity. And I didn't want to be tricked into taking it for more than it was.